Bad Parents
by TheTalentfullsomDefined
Summary: Set during phase 1- When Russell is out of the country, it's up to Murdoc and 2D to take care of Noodle together. However the two aren't sure how they feel about "playing house" together.
1. Chapter 1

**_Hey, please review, and tell me if I should add more chapters or not, and if I do, if this should be a 2Doc fanfic or not, Thanks ;)_**

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><p>"Ugh, this is so stupid..." The bassist moaned, leaning back into the park bench. "Well I don't like bein' her anymore then you." 2D sighed, leaning back with the bassist. The two watched men watched their little 10-year-old Noodle play on the jungle gym with a large group of other children. Both men hated the park, well, not so much the park, they just hated being outside all together. The only reason they were here was because of Noodle. Russell liked to take Noodle to the park once or twice a months, so she could socialize with children her own age. However, sadly, a few days ago the drummer got a phone call that his grandmother was in the hospital. Russell had no choice to pack up right away and fly out to the states, right after he promised little Noodle that 2D and Murdoc would take care of her, and take her to the park while he was gone.<p>

"I'm gonna kill him when he gets back..." Murdoc growled, covering his eyes from the sun. "Well, you can't really be mad at the guy..." 2D started. "His grandma is really sick, and he just wants what's best for Noodle." The bassist crossed his arms in protest. "Whatever!" He barked. "We're not his personal babysitters... or at least i'm not! I could be in bed or in some bird right down but instead I'm her in a fuckin' park!" "Why can't you just-" The singer was cut off but the loud painful scream of their guitarist. "... Noodle!" The boys yelled simultaneously, before rushing over to the playground, not afraid to push other children out of their way.

They looked around the playground, not seeing her at first. Only until, 2D pointed out a little girl sobbing girl, laying flat on the ground, her face in the mulch. They quickly rushed over to her. Murdoc kneeled down, wrapping his arm around the girl, sitting her up. "Noodle! A-Are you okay?" The singer asked afraid. "What's wrong!" The bassist asked. The girl could only cry loudly. "Oh, damn it!" The bassist cursed, noticing the little girl's oddly bent arm. The bassist looked up at 2D, trying not to look panicked. "We need to get her to the hospital, faceache!" He yelled, grabbing the little girl, holding her closely, standing up, rushing to the geep, the singer following quickly behind him.

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><p>"Madokku! Toochi! Arm! Arm! Arm itai! Arm itai! HURT!" Noodle cried into Murdoc's shirt, as they walked into the emergency room. "I know, love. I know." The bassist sighed, patting the little girl's head as they walked up to a nurse at the front desk. "Faceache!" Murdoc called, pointing to the women at the desk, as he was a little busy calming down Noodle. 2D quciky walked up to the nurse. "Uh, ah, O-our girl, here broke her arm and uh-" "Oh, my!" The nurse interrupted walking from behind the desk and over to Murdoc. "Yes, right. Let me take her and we'll see what we can do, alright." Murdoc quickly handed his little girl over to the nurse who took her and walked into the back waiting rooms, the boys without question following behind her.<p>

The nurse took Noodle into another room for some X-rays and to be fitted for a cast, while 2D and Murdoc were asked to wait in another room, as another nurse helped them fill out their information.

"Alright. So, what is Noodle's birthday?" He asked.

"Halloween." "October, 31st." Both men answered simultaneously.

"Alright... Age?"

"Ten." 2D answered.

"Okay... Has she started her menstrual cycle?"

Both men flinched when they hear those dreaded words and went sickly pale.

"N-no!" Murdoc answered. "Of course not! We just told you, she's only ten!"

The nurse shrugged her shoulders. "You never know..."

Both men were tired and worried sick. They just wanted to see their little Noodle.

"Okay..." The nurse started. "So when did you two adopt her?"

"1998." Murdoc answered, not really thinking of the question. However it was true. The band had to legally adopt Noodle when she arrived to keep her in the country.

"Okay... So how long have you two been married?"

Both men almost instantly sat up straight staring at the nurse, shocked and confused, both there faces burning red with embarrassment.

"Huh?" "What?!" "Uh, um, w-we're-" "We're not fags!" "Y-yeah! N-not a couple o-or anything like that!" Both men yelled, almost unable to her what each other were saying, mainly because their minds were pretty much scrambled even from the idea.

"O-oh! I'm sorry!" The nurse said frantically trying to calm the boys down. "I-I just assumed, that-"

"Excuse, me." A man, a doctor, interrupted. "Someone wants to see you two." He smiled. Just then a giddy little Noodle skipped into the room, hugging 2D's leg, her right arm in a light pink cast. "Toochi, Madokku! Look, look! Cast!" She smiled. Waving her arm in the air. "No hurt!" 2D smiled, patting the little girl's helmet. "T-that's great, love... We-we can go home now, right?" He asked looking over at Murdoc. Murdoc nodded, "Yep!" standing up angrily, staring daggers at the nurse with the notepad in her hands. "Let's go!". 2D picked up Noodle, trying to be careful with her arm, following Murdoc out of the building.


	2. Chapter 2

On the drive home from the hospital 2D thought it would be a good idea to stay in the back with Noodle. Just to make sure she was okay.

"Kore wa kūrudesu!" The little girl laughed waving her casted arm. "Watashi no ude wa totemo kataidesu, Sore wa, robottoāmu no yōna monodesu!" The singer just grinned, not understanding a word the child was saying. "Yeah, right, love." Murdoc just sighed, trying to stay focused on the road, but he couldn't help but notice the sun was setting rather fast. "Hey, Noodle, love," The bassist called in a loving tone, which caught both the guitarist and singer's attention. "Do you remember what to tell Russell when he gets back?" It took Noodle a second to understand what the bassist was saying but she quickly nodded and smiled.

"Hai! Madokku take good care of Noodaru! Toochi did broken arm!" "What?!" The singer jolted up in his seat, placing a hand over the young girl's mouth. "No, no, no, love! Um... uh... Murdoc and Toochi take good care of Noodle! Uh... Broken arm accident! Okay, okay, 'accident'!" The singer removed his hand and Noodle nodded in agreement. "Broken arm! Aka-Shi-Dentu!" 2D smiled with relief then quickly glared over at Murdoc. "So when I went to use the toilet at the hospital that's what you were telling her to say!" Murdoc laughed to himself shrugging his shoulders, looking the singer in black hole eyes though the vanity mirror. "Worth a shot. I honestly didn't think you'd were able to understand Noodle's accent. Plus, why have Russ beat us both to a pulp." The singer just pouted and crossed his arms, leaning back into his seat. Both the bassist and guitarist laughed at the singer's childish attitude.

It was almost completely dark when they got back to Kong, except for a few dim rays from the sunset peaking from behind the gray clouds. Noodle fell asleep a few minuets ago, cuddling up to 2D's arm. The singer carefully picked up the ten year old, trying not to wake her. The bassist locked the car and walked beside the singer on their way up their rooms. "Some day, huh." The singer said quietly. The bassist nodded sticking his hands into his pockets. "Yeah... Russell hasn't even been gone five days and our guitarist is already falling apart." The singer made a small chuckle, opening the opening Noodle's door.

2D walked in and carefully rested the girl down on the bed. The singer was relived that Noodle was wearing a t-shirt and shorts so he wouldn't have to worry about putting on her pajamas. He did however, remove the girl's jacket, shoes and socks, throwing them randomly on the floor. And lastly the sleeping girl's helmet, reviling her messy 'punk' haircut. He set the helmet gently on her nightstand, and planted a soft kiss on her forehead as he threw the blankets over her. 2D lifted himself off the bed and headed twords the door, tripping over a few of the girl's toys making him panic, as he was trying not to wake her. Much to the singer's surprise still standing in the doorway waiting for him was Murdoc. He quietly closed the door, stepping out into the hallway and waited to see what the bassist wanted.

"You've got a watch don't you? What time is it? There no clock in this whole damn house." The bassist growled. The singer nodded, looking down at his watch. It was really dark outside, and the day seemed so long, it had to be about 11, maybe even 12 at night... "Oh... it's only 7:30." The bassist smiled, and headed down the hallway, the singer absent mindedly followed him. "Fantastic!" He cheered. "Happy hour!" 2D raised an eyebrow in confusion. "7:30 is happy hour? Where?" "Eh, for me, happy hour is any hour I'm not asleep or not in a 50 mile radius of booze." 2D smiled and sighed, when they entered the livingroom he quickly planted himself onto the couch. He reached over for the remote and started to flip though the channels. Nothing to good on.

2D opened and closed his eyes slowly, only to open them to find the tv screen replaced with a can of beer. Murdoc dangled the can in front of the singer, holding a can of his own and the rest of the 6-pack held under his arm. "You gonna take it?" The bassist asked. The singer blinked a few times trying to understand what was going on, he quickly nodded and grabbed the can from Murdoc. The bassist sat down on the couch, setting the other four cans by his feet. "Anything on?" He asked taking a large drink from his can, and stealing the remote from the singer's hand. The singer cracked his own can only for it to spray open all over his hands and legs, followed by a laugh from the bassist. "Murdoc!" 2D called out. Murdoc continued to laugh as she reached over and picked up a towel from the floor and tossed it over to the singer. 2D sat the can down on the coffee table and cleaned himself off. He grabbed his beer falling back onto the couch again, feeling somewhat exhausted. Suddenly, a mangled, blood, lifeless face appeared on the screen. A smiled quickly grew on 2D face, Murdoc noticed this. "Hm? This one of your zombie flick?" 2D nodded excitedly, "Yeah! Please, Muds, don't change it!" he bagged. The bassist shrugged and threw the remote over to his side. "Yeah, whatever. Why not."


	3. Chapter 3

About two had passed, it turned out to be some kind of zombie film marathon. 2D was over the moon, while Murdoc was just sitting there getting a kick out of the cheesy acting. After the first hour and a half the men were sufficiently wasted. Murdoc finished about 7 cans of beer and was working on a bottle of rum. 2D only made it about 4 cans in before he called it quits and just wanted to enjoy his movies. And it was only about 9:30.

"Uh... That was a good movie, huh, Muds?" 2D asked as the credits started to roll. "If you say so..." Murdoc responded. "You are the king of crappy, undead, living-dead... dead... shit movies."

2D pouted. "Well, that's not very nice. I thought you really like that last one!" The bassist shrugged, taking a large swig out of his bottle. "That one chick was hot..."

2D chuckled, falling back into the couch. "Uh... Y-yeah, yeah, she was... I think the sequel to it is on next! Sucks that this channel plays such long commercials though..."

"Yeah..." The bassist agreed, not really sure what he was agreeing to, just knew to say 'yeah', one the younger man was done talking. "You know, I was really freaked about Noodle..."

The singer turned the volume down so he didn't have to hear those dumb commercials. And was a little confused and surprised at what the bassist just said. "Oh, uh, yeah... me too. It was a really crazy day."

Both men just sat next to each other leaning back into the couch. The room was quiet except for the low sounds coming from the television. "It's gonna be a lot harder takin' care of her now... B-But, she's gonna be alright though, right?" The singer questioned nervously.

"Oh, of course she is, stupid." The bassist assured, taking another drink of rum. "That's what doctor said, wasn't it."

"Right!" The singer smiled. 2D chuckled softly to himself. It caught Murdoc's attention.

"What is it?" He asked.

"What? Oh, nothin'." 2D assured.

"Seriously! What?" The bassist continued to question, sliding closer to the taller man.

"It-It's just..." The singer continued to laugh quietly. "I can't believe that woman though that we... well you know... we were together... in that way... it's weird."

Murdoc opened and closed his eyes tightly, trying to focus hard enough to comprehend what 2D was saying. "Hm... you're tell me." The bassist responded, before dropping his head on 2D's shoulder, nuzzling his face against the soft fabric of his shirt.

This cause the singer to instantly tense up. "U-uh... M-Mudoc? You alright? Y-You didn't pass out or nothin' did ya?" 2D felt a little relief flow over him when the idea that he just passed out entered his mind.

Murdoc just shrugged and moved his face away from the singer's shoulder and up to his neck. This caused 2D to panic, however he was too afraid to move, wondering what the bassist might do. The singer grew even more worried as he could feel a light blush appear on his face. He felt the man's skin pressed against his. Murdoc was so close, 2D could feel him sniff his neck.

"You smell like beer." The bassist blurted out in a bitter tone. Ruining the moment, if there was a moment to be ruined.

"Well, duh!" The singer snapped. "You shook up my can of beer when you handed it to me!"

The bassist laughed, remembering the joke. "Oh, yeah... Right, that was a good one!" He pulled away from the singers neck, still laughing. "Oh, man... love the rum, but I really feel like a beer right now!" The drunk man glanced over at his friend and become confused. "What's wrong with your face?"

"Hm?" 2D became tense again, scooting away from the bassist. "W-What? It's just my face."

"No that's not it..." Murdoc questioned, inching closer to the singer. "Pfff-Hah!" He laughed. "You're blushing you little pussy!"

"W-what! N-No i'm not!" 2D protested looking away from Murdoc, trying to hide his red face.

Murdoc grabbed the singer's chin, forcing him to look at him. "You are so!" The bassist continued to laugh. "What? Was that nurse right about you? You got a little thing for Murdoc, huh?"

"Shut the fuck up." 2D said calmly, trying to play it cool while trying to pull away from Murdoc.

"Well, I got to admit, you do look kind of like a chick, ya know. An ugly, chick, but still..."

"What! Hey! No I don't!"

"Sure ya do."

"Do not! Do not! Dammit Murdoc! You're not funny! Please, let me go!"

Murdoc's laugh became less forceful and more soft and quiet. "Ya know, when you get angry and you're voice gets all high-pitched like that, it's really not helpin' your case."

"I am a man, dammit!" The singer continued to cry. "And don't make jokes about me bein' gay when you're actin' all-!"

The singer was cut off and stunned frozen. Murdoc, his best mate, planted his lips against his. 2D didn't know how to react, his mind was drawing a blank. His body was paralyzed in utter shock. He felt Murdoc's hand release his chin and cup his whole cheek. The singer closed his eyes tightly and tried to pull away from the bassist. But it was no use, Murdoc planted his other hand on 2D back, pushing him closer to himself. 2D could feel his lungs burning, he opened his mouth widely to catch his breath. Murdoc quickly made his move before the singer could close his mouth and he slide his snake-like tongue into his mouth. 2D boldly placed both his hands on Murdoc's shoulders trying to push the man away, but it was no use. After a few seconds of this 2D could feel his tongue twisting along with Murdoc's. It felt so strange and... good. 2D relaxed his grip on Murdoc, and his hands were just gently resting on his shoulders.

Murdoc moved his hands from 2D's back and face. He then placed one on the singer's thigh, and then other on his chest, dangerously close to the singer's beating heart. He pulled away from the singer, his tongue slithering back into his mouth. Both men stared, dazed and confused at each other. Both were wonder what was going on in the other's head, while still trying to understand what was going on in their own.

Murdoc sat there. Lost in 2D's black-hole eyes. The singer's cheeks where bright red, his eyes were tired, and he was panting soft but fast. He was so cute.

"I, Uh... Ah...-" The bassist was trying to think of something to say, but was soon cut off.

"Hmm... Madokku? Toochi?" Noodle let out a soft yawn, before flipping the lights on.

2D jolted up before the light manged fill the room, he felt Murdoc's hands slip off his body. Murdoc looked up at 2D, his face showing obvious fear and confusion. The singer turned around and quickly head to the door. "I-I-I'm s-sorry! I-I gotta go to bed! I-I'm not feelin' well." 2D left quickly trying not to slam the door for Noodle's sake.

"Toochi sick?" The young girl asked.

"No..." The bassist answered. "He's just... I don't know... What do you want, girly?"

"Nodo ga kawaita!"

"What?"

"Water."

"Oh... Alright. Let's get you some water." The bassist sluggishly stood up from the couch. He patted this little, sleepy girl on the head and walked with her to the kitchen. "Does your arm hurt?" He asked kindly.

The little girl shrugged. "Arm sting... But Noodaru strong!"

The bassist smiled, setting Noodle up on the counter and grabbing a glass out of the cupboard. He made his way over to the sink and watched the water fill up the glass. His mind was fuzzy, but was filled with 2D. He felt his eyes become heavy and his brain getting more and more weak. The bitter taste of rum and beer still stuck with him. The bassist turned off the sink and nearly chugged the entire glass down almost instantly, trying to get the pleasantly familiar but bitter taste out of his mouth.

"Wha-! Hey! Madokku!" Noodle barked.


	4. Chapter 4

The rest of the night wasn't easy for 2D. He headed straight upstairs and locked himself in his bedroom.

The singer had his back pressed against his door. He was breathing heavily, mostly because he ran upstairs, but also because he finally realized what happened with Murdoc.

"God..." 2D thought to himself. "God... He kissed me! He kissed me!" The young managed to stumble over to his bed, falling face first into his pillow.

The singer began to talk to himself, his voice muffled by his pillow. "Ugh... And it wasn't just a kiss... he put his tongue in my mouth and was... uh! Moving it around! A-and I- My tongue was moving too! Ugh!"

2D flipped himself over on his back, staring up at the dark ceiling. Out of nowhere his face cringed with embarrassment and began to burn a bright red.

"... Me and Murdoc kissed..."

"... oh, my god!" The singer cried in a quiet high-pitched tone.

All this was too much for 2D's mind to take. He just wanted sleep. The singer forcefully held his eyes closed, but it was pointless. Every time he closed his eyes that moment on the couch replayed in his head. However, the moment only lasted about 2 seconds before 2D shot his eyes open.

This went on for about 15 minuets, before 2D gave up and reached for his nearest pill bottle. Just a few painkillers, swallowed dry, would numb the singer's brain enough to put him to sleep.

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><p>"Toochi? It Noodaru! Wake up, okay!" Were what 2D awoke to. That and a messy haired little Noodle standing at his bedside.<p>

The singer yawned loudly, weakly smile at the girl. "Ah, hello, love."

"Ohayō, Toochi!" Noodle cheered.

The singer sat up, his legs on the ground and a hunch in his spine. The man just down realized that he went to bed in t-shirt and jeans. His head in slight pain from the alcohol of last night and a pounding and constant thoughts of Murdoc. "Oh, god... Murdoc..." The singer thought to himself.

His instant reaction was to reach over for his pill bottle. After swallowing a few pills he gave the little girl his full attention. "Okay, what do you need, love?"

"Hair!" The little girl cried, pointing at her messy head with her uncasted arm, and a little pink comb on her broken side with her helmet held under her arm.

"Yeah, it's a mess. What about it?" The singer questioned.

"Hmm!" Noodle was clearly getting frustrated quickly. "No! Can't brush hair! Arm don't work!"

"Oh, oh, oh, you can't brush your hair!" 2D comprehended, grabbing the small comb from her hand and setting her helmet on his nightstand. "Turn around. I got you..." The singer said kindly.

The little girl turned around happily for the older man.

2D yawned loudly, brushing though Noodle's hair with one hand and holding her head still with the other.

"Hm... So you're you up so early?" The singer questioned.

"Oh, ah... Noodaru want to make sure Toochi good." Noodle answered.

"You wanted to make sure I was okay? You're the one with the broken arm." 2D grew confused.

"Last night!" The little girl responded.

2D's eyes widened and a nervous feeling shocked though his entire body. "Oh, no! Please don't tell me Noodle saw!" The singer thought to himself.

"Toochi said that you not feel well. Then Toochi go to bed. Toochi sick?" Noodle continued to question.

"O-oh, n-no, love... I'm-I'm fine, I'm not sick, I promise." The singer smiled nervously, setting the comb down and turning the little girl around to face him.

"Ah! Did Madokku punching Toochi?!" The little girl said angrily holding up her small but strong fists.

2D shook his head. "No... He was just..." He could think of what to say, he knew he had to tell her something.

"He was just teasing with me, is all... Y-you know... Teasing me, just messing around... yeah."

"Oh, okay! Noodaru wont punch Madokku... Right?"

"Right, yeah. Don't punch Murdoc, okay." The singer chuckled slightly.

While this thing with Murdoc was eating him alive, Noodle was his main priority at the moment. He had to take care of his little guitarist.

"Ya want some breakfast?"

"Yeah!" Noodle cheered.

"Yeah? Me too!" The singer smiled, placing Noodle's helmet on her head, gently. "Let's go."

The tall man and the little girl left the room and headed downstairs to the kitchen.

"Thank you for brushing hair, Toochi!" Noodle thanked, looking up at the blue haired singer.

"Aw, it was nothing." 2D smiled.

By the time the two get to the bottom of the stairs 2D's eyes went straight to the livingroom and the couch. For a split second that scene replayed in the singer's head, leaving him frozen.

The four spots where Murdoc's hands have been, burned sweetly. His cheek, his back, his thigh, and his chest.

"Hm? Toochi? You okay?" The little girl questioned.

Without looking away from the couch 2D answered Noodle. "Uh... yeah, yeah... let's get you some breakfast?" The singer patted the girl on the helmet moving her twords the kitchen.

The singer lifted the little girl up onto a seat, trying to be careful with her arm and headed over to the refrigerator.

"Cereal?"

"Pankeki! With uh... Bekon! And uh..."

"S-sorry, w-we don't have pancake mix or bacon, love. But I can but chocolate milk in your cereal, though!" The singer smiled opening the fridge.

"Yeah!" Noodle cheered.

"Great, I'll get on that." 2D said. Getting out the chocolate milk and making Noodle a small bowl. While he was up he figured he'd make himself some toast.

The singer sat the bowl in front of Noodle, and a plate a burnt toast and took a seat.

"So, uh, Noodle..." 2D started.

"Hm?" Noodle asked, with a spoonful of cereal in her mouth.

"W-What did you and Murdoc do last night?" He asked nervously.

"Oh, ah, Noodaru want water, Maddoku got Noodaru water, then made Noodaru go to bed." The little girl answered.

"Oh, I see... Y-you know, we should really call up Russell today. And tell what happened."

"Ah! Rasseru! Yeah!" The little girl nodded excitedly.

"Alright," The singer said, taking a bite out of his toast and standing up. "I should go do that then." 2D made his way over to the phone, pounding in the numbers that were written on the notepad next to the phone. He heard it ring... and ring... and ring...

"Ugh... huh, huh... Y-yeah...? H-hello?" It was the familiar sound of Russell's voice.

"Oh, ah... Russ!" 2D cheered.

"Wha, 'D?" Russell questioned. "Ugh, M-man, seriously..."

"I-Is somethin' wrong?" 2D asked.

"You used the number I had written on the notepad?" The drummer asked.

"Uh, yeah."

"Look right under the number..." The drummer commanded.

2D checked the notepad, and looked right under the number that had been written.

_'England 5 hours AHEAD of New York'_

"O-Oh, so, it's..."

"4:30 in the morning..." The drummer answered.

"S-sorry... Noodle just wanted to talk to you and she... she... she kind of... uh..."

"She what?!" The drummer asked, sounding suddenly alert.

"She... broke her arm."

"WHAT?!" Russell yelled in what sounded like disbelief or anger. "I told you and Murdoc to fuckin' watch her- How did she- When did she- I can't belive you two-!"

"R-Russ! Russ! I-It was an accident!" The singer panicked.

"J-Just give Noodle the phone, dammit!"

The singer quickly agree and rushed the phone over to Noodle, who gladly grabbed the phone.

"Anata to iu kotodesu, Rasseru!"

2D patted Noodle on the head and headed out of the kitchen. He figured that Russell and her would be talking for a while. So it seemed like a perfect time for a smoke break.

2D kept his eyes glued on the front door, trying to keep his eyes away from the couch. He eventually made it to the door and zipped up his jacket and headed outside.

2D stared at the vast view from the hilltop of Kong. He pulled his cigarettes out of his pocket and sat on the cold concrete ground.

The singer lit his cigarette, as a cold morning breeze blew across his face. He was still kind of sleepy, and his head still kind of hurt. He had no idea what he was going to do with Murdoc... He wasn't sure if he should have done anything at all. He was so lost in his own thoughts he hardly heard the world around him. Not even the footsteps coming from around the corner.

"Oh, ah, why the hell are you out here?"

"...Shit." 2D thought nervously to himself.


End file.
